I slept horribly this whole week....weird dreams, hours awake in the middle of the night mulling over all this change.
This is simply not me. I can sleep anytime, anywhere and usually for any amount of time.
Last night I was actually sleeping better when this morning I awoke from a dream that my husband was dating someone new.
You'd think that would be enough but nooo...she was a ditzy blonde, controlling and not friendly, and if all of that weren't enough.
She'd convinced him to move to Southern California...all I could think about in my dream was how I've always wanted to move to Southern California and he denied the idea every time....how could this even be fair.
It's not...I guess that's the main answer in life. They may have SoCal but they'll also have to have each other.
Then this morning the whole problem was wiped out of my mind when I got the news that Esme spent the morning throwing up, I had to work all day and she was with her Babka, it felt miserable to not be there for her. I stopped by the house to take her some ginger ale, saltines and pedia lite.
We cuddled on the couch for a few minutes before I had to go back to work and Esme said (in her breathless super excited voice)
"Do you know what? Tonight is a mommy night!"
I know I said, and I'm so excited.
"Daddy also told me that...after tonight...tomorrow is a mommy day, is it true?"
(There is just nothing better than this.)
And of course I've performed valiantly during our mommy night.
The Dora ballet special we had tevoed, ice cream for dessert (sherbert for the one with a still delicate tummy), and a movie.
Then at the end of the movie (Free Willy, just to help you understand) I actually broke down crying.
"Why are you sad Mama? Are you sad the movie is over?"
"No honey, I'm not sad at all (gulp, sniff)"
"Then why are you crying."
"I'm actually crying because I'm happy, I'm happy because I just love you so much."
"Don't worry Mama, I will always keep you."
Where did I get this kid? I just don't think she could get any better?
One of the things that has always helped me through breakups is to remember that 'he's not my problem anymore'. And, then I snicker thinking about all of his crap that I (you) KNOW the 'new girl' is putting up with. It's a beautiful thing to realize that you don't have to put up with it.
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